getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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