I am puke
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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