my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
