Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just cut my nipple shaving
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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