just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
