i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
