you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
