i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
