guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Two words: blizzard sex
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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