See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
