Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
