He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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