Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
