But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
