It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
