There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
