please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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