you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
