theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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