no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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