...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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