I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
