exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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