Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
