why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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