I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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