Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize