Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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