we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
