I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
