omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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