I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I smell like Dick and happiness
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
