Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
