You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
