Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
