Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
