wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
