Got a toothbrush?
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
