Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
