what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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