farters have to be the big spoon...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
