I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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