I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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