My underwear smells like fireworks.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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