I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
