I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
