Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
