i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
