They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Im part way to drunk.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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