none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
