Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
