what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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