Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
