How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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