Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
