i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
