A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
3pm strippers are depressing
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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