I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
