Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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