Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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