she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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