do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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