You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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