Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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