I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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