Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
