my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
