How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize