I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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