My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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