She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
