fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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