my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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