I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So many bounce houses so little time
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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