There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
