Dual....:-)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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