no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
