My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
handjob tips. give me some.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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