dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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