Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
