Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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