Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
