I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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