I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm passing your future prison.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
