my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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