I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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