Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
