whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
