grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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